Losing my father, Norman Cheek, was one of the most difficult things that I have ever had to go through. Last year was very hard, but God has taught me several things through this process. The grieving makes me think back to my childhood.
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After a violent divorce between my mother and father, my father took my brother and me to live with him. He couldn’t handle us, so he took us to our grandmother who lived in Snow Camp, NC. She was given custody of me and my four siblings. Not long afterwards, my mother picked us up and told us we were going camping, but, in fact, she took us to Oregon to live with her and her alcoholic boyfriend. I never saw my father again until I was in my 20’s.
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I was born during my father’s time in seminary and I grew up in a church environment. My parents are loving and faithful believers. I don’t remember not loving the Lord. But over the past few years, I’ve learned that there is a difference between believing in Him and having a deep relationship with Him.
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My walk with God has not always been so sure. I was saved when I was thirteen in a little country church here in Ashe County. Since then, I have kept God busy. Looking back, I can see His hand always protecting me even when I stepped out on my own and didn’t listen.
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Most of my friends know that my husband and I met and married in a whirlwind. We got engaged two months after we met, then were married four months after that. When I look back, I feel I should apologize to my family for giving them heart- attacks. I’m sure there were plenty of rumors about whether I was pregnant or insane or something. What many people don’t know, however, is what an instrument of healing he was for me. I feel led to share this incredibly personal story, not to shock you, but to share how good God is.
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God has helped us with this business, and we are learning every day. God has amazed me. After trying for some time to run the business myself, I finally realized that I had to have God’s help. When I got to that point, it was amazing how much easier the business became.
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My walk with God has not always been so sure. I was saved when I was thirteen in a little country church here in Ashe County. Since then, I have kept God busy. Looking back, I can see His hand always protecting me even when I stepped out on my own and didn’t listen.
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It was at Cape Blanco State Park on the Pacific Ocean coast of southwestern Oregon where I was reading a Bible my mom had given me before we departed for our West Coast honeymoon. I’m in a meadow on a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean when these words from John 5:15 caught my attention: “I am the vine and you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
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At 20, I put forth a solid effort to change. I was in love with a girl, and she thought she was pregnant. I swore off drugs and decided to make something of myself. I signed up for EMT school and was determined to become a firefighter. Soon after starting school, we found out the pregnancy was a false alarm, and that relationship ended. I found myself in a strange new place. I was no longer around drug users but career-oriented people, and my desire to be highly thought of was again driving me.
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“For a number of years I felt a calling, and it was almost like somebody was walking behind me tapping me on the shoulder saying ‘there are other things you can be doing in addition to your work with your family and your work with your practice.’ I frequently would almost look over my shoulder to see who was tapping me on my shoulder. It took me a while to realize that who was tapping me on the shoulder was the Lord, saying that ‘there are other things out there that you could do to serve,” Herring said.
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I had really struggled in all my pregnancies with very deep depression and anxiety. With my first child, I didn’t know anything about that. You hear a lot about postpartum with women. But then it really struck me in my pregnancies.
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“It was there that God truly healed me of my addiction. I think when you struggle with an addiction, it’s always a selfish thing. It’s ‘me, me, me.’ And we live in a self-serving world. Everything is about ourselves and putting ourselves first. And with an addiction, I would wake up thinking of myself first thing, and I would go to bed thinking of myself as the last thing,” she said. “It was there in serving — I was working in an orphanage — I didn’t have time, I was too busy — I didn’t have time to think of myself. And it’s like God truly healed me of that. Because we know that Jesus Christ came to serve, not to be served.”
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I cannot remember a time in my life when I didn’t believe in and know Jesus. I have loved Him my whole life. But I remember a major moment when God won me over. I was determined to do this whole God thing the “right way.” I kept focusing on not messing up and following the rules. I held such high expectations that I put on myself. About ten years ago, my ‘religion’ walls came crashing down.
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My earliest memories in life are of not being wanted. Before I was born, my grandma wanted my mom to drink turpentine, thinking that would cause her to abort spontaneously. I never met my dad until I was 27 years old. As you can imagine, I felt pretty insignificant growing up.
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It happened February 5, 2004. My parents had a flower shop and on that day my mom and I were delivering flowers to a church in Grassy Creek for a viewing. The forecast called for bad weather so we were anxious to deliver the flowers and get back home.
On the way back, as we came through the curves at Shatley Springs, I turned on my wipers which made a smear of ice on my windshield. I was only doing about 35 mph, but I said to my mother, “Mom, we’re in trouble.” Just then the van began sliding.
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One of my brothers said, “If you ever had a doubt about heaven, she just put it to rest. There is no doubt in my mind about heaven, now.” Some people might think it is morbid to talk about my mother’s passing being such a peaceful event, but I don’t know how else to describe it. Just knowing that she got to take a look into heaven where, maybe, she saw my dad waiting for her, has given me peace about knowing where they are.
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I never really felt like I had a place to call home. My dad was an officer in the Air Force, so we moved around a lot. I was born in Hawaii and lived in Washington, D.C., Norway, Germany, and Alabama—all by the fifth grade. That was when my dad retired and we moved to Charlotte.
I loved adventure and loved moving but this was different. I had always lived within the safety and security of a military base. The idea of living outside the fences was scary. In Charlotte, I always felt like the new kid, the outsider. My junior high years were the first years of forced busing in Charlotte, which produced riots and fighting.
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Like the Prodigal Son in the Bible, I knew there was something better in life for me, and that’s what brought me back to God. I finally came to a point of realizing that this is not my life. It belongs to God. I rededicated my life at church and God cleaned me up just like 1 John 1:9 says. Six months later I announced my call to preach. That was on February 15, 2005. I now pastor the Phoenix Baptist Church in Lansing. I’m still human. I still make mistakes. But God can still use me.
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Pain shot through my chest and shoulder. I thought I was having a heart attack, so I drove myself to the hospital. The doctors there fussed at me for that. But after thorough testing, they couldn’t find any heart problems that would cause chest or shoulder pain. However, they did find an aortic aneurysm in my stomach—a dangerous, life-threatening condition, if allowed to grow untreated. I may never know what caused the pain in my chest and shoulder that day, but I am thankful to God that I had it. If I didn’t, the aortic embolism might never have been found. Ironically, it was a similar situation that allowed the doctors to find my wife’s cancer.
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